Gabrielle at Lilybaeum
by Phineas Redux
Summary: Poor Gabrielle. Can’t she do anything right! Now she’s on trial in Sicily for being very very naughty!


—OOO—

Poor Gabrielle. Can't she do anything right! Now she's on trial in Sicily for being very very naughty!

This carefully researched little story is meant to be funny, and nothing else. Those trying to find a moral in it, or attempting to deconstruct its rationale or historical details, will be summoned before the Aedile Marcus Servans Megallius and fined for public disorder!

—OOO—

**Disclaimer:** MCA/Universal/RenPics own all copyrights to everything related to Xena: Warrior Princess and I have no rights to them.

—OOO—

**'Gabrielle at Lilybaeum'**

"He's arrived!"

"Who?"

"The Lictor, Gabrielle!" Lucius, the Roman noble with whom the two warrior women were staying for a few days, smiled laconically at his guests. "Remember, I said he would come with the summons."

"Oh! Right!" Gabrielle stood by Xena's side rather shamefacedly. "So what do I do?"

"He's waiting in the atrium." Lucius Sempronius Basso was a middle-aged Roman of impeccable ancestry; though lacking that stand-offish attitude so cultivated by many of his compatriots. At the moment they stood under the roofed colonnade surrounding the quiet central garden of the extensive villa he kept up in the coastal town of Lilybaeum, on the Western coast of Sicilia. "You just go to him and he will read out the charge, then give you the summons scroll. That's all."

"And for Olympus' sake don't challenge him!" Xena's steely eyes looked at her friend with a determined expression. "You've got us in a pickle already; don't make it worse!"

"OK! OK!" Gabrielle snarled her retort through gritted teeth. "Hades-I know! It's be nice to Roman's today! Oh, sorry, Lucius! I didn't mean—"

Lucius raised his eyebrows at Xena, who was in the process of doing the same thing. For a second they both contemplated the colonnade ceiling. A fine plastered ceiling; but not really of that much interest.

"Gabrielle! Just talk to him as if you were talking to me." Xena tried to think of the safest course for her friend to take. "When you're in a good mood with me, that is!"

"Yeah! Yeah! I get the idea." Gabrielle shrugged her bare shoulders as the three walked out onto the gravel paths in the bright sunlight. "I just don't see why a little thing like a market argument should be magnified into a court case!"

"You beat up the stall-holder!" It was Lucius who took up the challenge of confronting Gabrielle with her misdemeanour. Xena stood by with a pained expression. "That's being naughty in anyone's rule-book, Gabrielle!"

"Well! He deserved it!" The Amazon warrior was unrepentant; pouting with displeasure. "Trying to overvalue his pots and pans! So I hit him! What would you do if someone picked up a wooden club from under the counter and threatened you with it?"

"He picked up the club because you attacked him!" Xena came back into the fray, looking severely at her friend. "And you did it in full view of a centurion standing at a nearby stall. That's just imbecility, Gabrielle!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Gabrielle clutched her hair with both hands and shook her head. "Hades! How much more do I have to apologise? So I was wrong! We all have our off-days!"

"And now she is going to have to pay for her unrestrained enthusiasm, I'm afraid." Lucius reached over and placed a hand on the miscreant's bare shoulder. An action that Xena herself would have thought dangerous, at this point in Gabrielle's inflamed passions. But, thankfully, the Amazon just looked at her Roman friend guiltily.

"What's going to happen at the court, then?" She spoke moodily, still.

"Probably a fine. A couple of hundred sesterces or so." Lucius considered for a moment. "Maybe an exile from the Region for 6 months or a year. That'll be about it."

"Oh, well!" Gabrielle suddenly brightened, with a pert smile. "We were leaving for Greece anyway, weren't we, Xena? So that's great. Listen to a lecture; sign a scroll to pay at 3 months; then set sail to the East next day while no-one's looking! Fine!"

"Gabrielle!" Xena screamed loudly. So loudly that two female servants on the other side of the wide garden looked across with interest. "For the sake of all the Gods on Olympus, don't be like that! Have you no moral character at all?"

"What? What? It's a plan!"

"A plan that'll get you locked up in a cell for a year, eating bread and water." Lucius allowed a touch of asperity to enter his voice. "As your 'friend'; I use the term loosely you understand, I would be held responsible for you."

"OK! So Xena pays the fine, and all's well. But that stall-holder is still an asshole!"

"By the Gods!" Xena was now incensed. "I ain't going to pay you're fine! You are!"

"Me!" Gabrielle was now outraged on her own account. If there was one thing in life she was sure of it was that fines were not for paying; at least by her. "The last time I paid a fine I was 19 and had to cough up 20 drachma's for a little disagreement I had with a married woman. She thought her son was destined for better than me: I thought her hair needed re-arranging! It took three men to part us!"

"Don't be so unutterably self-satisfied!" Xena exuded disapproval in every pore as she stood by the side of this smirking reprobate. "Makes you look ugly!"

"Xena, do you want to die today? Such things can be arra—"

"Ladies!" Lucius broke into this mutual appreciation discussion. "Interesting as your memories of a happy home life may be, Gabrielle! Are they not drawing our attention from a more important matter?"

"The Lictor." Once again Xena registered disapproval in her voice. Having to live with a sidekick who often thought that basic Morality was merely a philosophical term was beginning to get on her nerves. She wondered vaguely if her hair was starting to go gray!

"Oh! Right!" Gabrielle nodded as she looked at her feet. She scraped lines in the gravel for a few seconds before glancing up at her two companions again. "So, it's be nice; smile charmingly; take the summons-scroll; and let him leave without getting his butt kicked? Got it! Where is he?"

—OOO—

"For the Polis and Region of Lilybaeum in Magna Graecia and Sicilia I, Lictor to the Aedile Marcus Servans Megallius, hereby charge Gabrielle of Potidaea with unlawful public disorder. Under the Jus Gentium; administered by the Praetor peregrini, Caius Honorius Fulgus and his Aediles, you are herewith ordered to attend trial at the Forum in Lilybaeum on the Ides of April. Tomorrow, that is! Here is the summons. Bring it with you on attendance. No weapons allowed in the Court-room. Any attempt to engage in physical assault of the Aedile in attendance will result in summary execution by the armed Lictors present! Thank you, and goodbye!"

Xena and Gabrielle watched as the large powerfully built man turned on his heel and marched off along the narrow street on which this side of the villa faced.

"Centurion?"

"Nah, Princess! A Duplicarius for certain. I talked to one in Rome a few months ago, when we were there."

"He was a Vexillifer, flag officer!" Lucius spoke confidently as he came to stand by his friends, after the court official had left. "He served in a cohort I commanded some years ago! A good man."

Gabrielle; who had been on the point of saying something, shut her lips tightly.

"So how does this pan out, Lucius? In the court, I mean." Xena figured she might as well try to gain some positive knowledge from the debris.

"The court is held in a building in the Forum in the centre of the city." Lucius talked as he escorted the women into a large room where a low table was set with refreshment. "The Rule under which Gabrielle's—er— misdemeanour, falls will be judged under the Jus Gentium. That is the law which pertains to foreigners, and particularly their interaction with Roman citizens.

"And the stall-holder is a Roman citizen?" Xena wanted to rub the point into Gabrielle's consciousness, in the hope of stirring some sign of guilt. Her pale-haired companion simply went on peeling an orange with unconcern writ large on her features.

"Yes." Lucius nodded. "So the Aedile, Marcus Servans Megallius, will oversee the trial."

"Why not the Praetor?" Gabrielle piped in sharply. "If I'm going to be put on trial; why not by the big bajookah himself?"

"Er, well," For a moment Lucius seemed undecided; then obviously made his mind up that Gabrielle should not be shielded from the bitter truth. "A Praetor would not consider rising from his seat among the clouds beside the Gods for anything less than a Civil Uprising! A simple argument about prices between a praiseworthy Roman citizen stall-holder, and an unrestrained Barbarian Amazon bandit is just a mere bagatelle to him. I hope my words don't disturb you, Gabrielle; but you'll have to listen to much worse tomorrow, you know! And if you take exception, then I can't say where it could all end!"

Gabrielle did find it necessary to say something at this point. What she said was descriptive; challenging; all-embracing; and significantly telling as to the personal sexual habits of the Aedile in question. She was allowed by her two spectators to go on undisturbed, until she finally ran out of breath and set-to moodily skinning another orange with malice sparkling in her eye.

"I'm glad you said all that, Gabrielle; because I'm going to be right beside you tomorrow." Xena was concise in her words. "And if there's any sign of expressions like those crossing your lips I'll dot you on the head and plead justified defence!"

"If that —"

"Now!—now, Gabrielle! Let's not be crude!" Xena ignored her companion's evil look; green eyes flashing from under unruly white locks. "If there's one thing you've gotta learn between now and tomorrow, it's restraint."

"Restraint!" The short muscular Amazon stood up and threw a piece of orange-peel across the room. "To Tartarus with restraint! What I'd like to do with Megallius is—is—is—"

And then, in no uncertain terms, she told them!

—OOO—

"What's this Aedile like?" Xena brought the topic up as the three entered the Forum Court-building, the next day, and walked along the wide crowded passage. "Has he had many years experience?"

"Perhaps not as many as you'd like." Lucius was dressed in an official toga, edged with a wide blue band; though not the purple of a Roman Senator. "Taking on the office of Aedile is considered the first step on the political ladder for the aspiring Roman. So it generally goes to young men."

"Young men!" Gabrielle was still in a foul mood; which hadn't waned after a night's sleep. "How young? Am I going to be tried by a boy? Because –"

"Megallius is 29, I believe." Lucius spoke soothingly, glancing at the young woman by his side with concern. She was dressed in her usual two-piece outfit of short skirt and a top which, in his opinion, showed more than it concealed. And, in his opinion too, was knowingly meant to do just that! "He has held the Aedileship for three years. I don't think he has any strong impulse to greater political status; he is happy as he is."

"How much experience or knowledge of Law could he have amassed in just three years?" Xena felt compelled to ask as they pushed their way into the corridor leading to the court-room.

"Oh, no Aedile necessarily needs a wholesale knowledge of Roman Law!" Lucius replied with a note of humour in his voice. "There will be a Jurist sitting by his side at all times. That is, an expert in Law who defines the particular Laws relevant to the case in hand. He will have all details of technical issues at his finger-tips. It is he on whom each Aedile relies for mere detail of Law edicts."

"So what does this young lad actually do then?" Gabrielle's voice contained all the asperity of a wronged woman, as she let out some pent-up anger by heaving a broad-backed citizen to one side with surprising ease via a smooth movement of her shoulder.

"He Rules!" Lucius replied succinctly as they paused at the door of the chamber. "He gives a considered opinion, and ruling. A ruling which is law, and final! So when he gives his verdict what you don't do, Gabrielle, is stand up and start arguing!"

"Hear that?" Xena made no bones about pressing the point.

"Yeah! Yeah! Gods! Anyone'd think I was up for conspiracy, or civil war, or something. I only knocked a shopkeeper about a bit!"

"Sometimes I want to hit you over the head with something heavy!"

"Oh! That's just great!" Gabrielle raised her hands in disgust and waved them ineffectually in the air. "Now my friends are against me too!"

—OOO—

Inside the room the Lictor who had delivered the summons showed them to the front rank of benches. Leaving them there he crossed to a large table set about 10 feet in front of the audience and placed some scrolls on the already confused mass littering its top. This table was about 8 feet long with two chairs set behind it. The larger having a high back with its frame upholstered in red leather.

There was a pause as the room gradually filled up till the eight rows of benches were nearly all occupied; then the door was closed and locked. From a side-door there now entered a procession comprising two Lictors with fasces raised high in their hands; followed by a young, toga-clad, man of tall proportions and strong though not handsome features. Behind him walked an older man with a bundle of scrolls under his arm, dressed in informal clothes.

The two men sat behind the low table; the Aedile in the chair of honour; the elder man in the chair to his right. The two Lictors walked to each end of the table and took position there. Everything was ready.

The older man rose, consulted a scroll for a moment; put it back down and chose another from the numerous parchments scattered across the table; thought better of this one too, and finally picked a third from the pile which seemed to be of more interest to him.

"First case of the day! The Polis and Region of Lilybaeum, under the Praetorship peregrini, Caius Honorius Fulgus; Aedile Marcus Servans Megallius residing: against Gabrielle of Potidaea, Greek citizen. Bring forward Maxilus Corvans!"

From the bench on their right the women saw a large, roughly clad man shuffle forward to stand in front of the table. This was the complainant; he who had suffered Gabrielle's wrath 3 days ago.

"Do you swear that you are Maxilus Corvans, Roman citizen, in the Polis and Region of Lilybaeum?"

"Aye sir; that I am!"

"Proceed to tell your story. Please be brief, and do not indulge in obfuscation; the Court's time is precious!"

When the man looked nonplussed the Jurist waved a hand at him again.

"Don't talk longer than you need! We don't want to listen to unnecessary verb—we don't want details that aren't relevant! Proceed!"

"Well, sirs! It was like this! I was going about my business—I have a metalware stall in the market-place, you understand, just before you come to Aurius' linen-shop—and it was—."

"Yes!—Yes!" The Jurist rose to wave a deprecatory hand once more. "Do keep to the point! Your story, man! What precisely happened to you! Nothing else!"

"Well, I was just having a normal kind of a day. Not quite up; and not quite down, as you might say, sirs." Catching a look of disapproval from the Jurist, Maxilus returned to the point. "When along comes a customer. A foreign customer—yer can always tell foreigners! They ain't Roman!"

He stated this fact with a certainty born from a long life spent observing the variety of peoples who passed before his stall; but seeing that the Jurist's patience was once more under stress, he carried on more succinctly, now the core and basis of his story had been reached.

"So she—that's her over there—her with the short white hair, as looks like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. She says to me, by way of having a bit of fun I suppose, 'What kind of crap is this? This 'ere ain't a pan; this 'ere's a disgrace! You surely ain't for selling it, are ya'? Though I might take it off yer 'ands for 2 drachma's!' "

The man spat disgustedly on the wooden floor by his feet, before he could stop himself; then went on shamefacedly. "A pan made by my own 'ands; and worth every obol of 6 drachma's! Well, I mean! I 'ad to argue with 'er, 'adn't I? 'Wot's that?' Says I! 'Yer miscallin' my wares, and you never ever cracked a egg in a pan wiv yer own 'ands, I'll bet!' Well! You should'a 'eard wot she went about to say to that?"

Here he paused dramatically; a man in full control of a good story, and waited for the approval of his compatriots with the thumb of his right hand comfortably tucked in the fold of his disreputable jerkin. The Jurist jumped to his feet and began gesticulating wildly, with a stray scroll grasped in his left hand.

"Great Zeus, man! Is this a recital of Homer's Iliad; or a Law-Court? Get on with it!"

"Well," He continued, somewhat checked by this display of official anger. "She just laughed and then fell to a'calling of myself and my parents derogatising names; all unnecessary like! Then she started in to miscall about every article I had on display! Well! A honest 'ard-working artisan can't stand by and let 'is wares be called 'orseshit and suchlike, as she were a'doin! So I says—just by way of making 'er think I was too expensive for 'er—'that there pot as you've got a tight 'old off. That pot's worth 10 drachma, that is!' "

He paused to look red-faced at the Aedile and the Jurist, then glanced at the bench where the subject of his irate words sat silently. A glance at green eyes flashing sparks made him turn round again to address the remainder of his story to the Officials seated before him.

" 'Ten drachma, eh!' Says she! 'Let's see the colour of yer money, ducks!' Says I! Well! It was then things began to get outer 'and! Before I could call on Concordia for protection she 'ad my jerkin tight in 'er 'ands; and 'er face right up agin mine: and a more 'orrible experience I 'opes I never 'as, that's all!"

Once more he paused; though this time it was more from aggrieved feelings than a dramatic sense. Looking sadly at the Aedile he re-commenced.

" 'An' that goblet's worth 8 drachma's'. Says I, gettin riled! 'An' that pile of plates is all worth 12 drachma's each!' Says I, goin' a little over the score, I admits! Then she takes to shakin' me by my neck, and flings me across my own stall till I bumps up agin the back wall; and then she screams like a Harpy and brushes most of my wares onto the ground wiv one sweep of 'er hand! Well! I was fair scared! I admit it! 'ere I am, a law-abidin' citizen, goin' about my business and this demon; this Amazon—she is a Amazon, ain't she—suddenly goes to try an' assault me in my own stall!'"

Here he stopped once again for breath allowing the Jurist, who had been sitting listening to most of this diatribe with head in hands, to sit up and interject.

"And all this was seen and heard, I hope, by the centurion Flavius Cinna?"

"Aye, sir. 'e was there, at another stall. 'e 'eard everything; and came to my rescue in the nick o' time! I'd pulled myself to my feet, after being threw at my back wall, and the next thing I see's is this crazed bi—this refugee from Tartarus—waving of 'er arms in the air an' preparing to throw a metal plate at me, wiv intent! So I ducks down below my table an' comes up wiv a little bit of a club I keeps there, for mischance's an' such like! I sort o' waves this in the air, as much as to say ' 'it me if yer dare!' ' She dared! Before I could shout fer 'elp there she was, wiv a evil long bladed knife pointed at me, usin' threatenin' gestures; and threatenin' words! Over an' above wot she 'ad already called me, that is!"

"Wot—I mean, what happened then?" The Jurist asked in a resigned voice.

"The full majesty of Roman Law and military Power came to my rescue; as it does an' should fer every Law-abiding Roman citizen!"

"Yes! Do go on." The Jurist spoke quietly, seeing the man had paused at the dramatic nature of his own words. The Jurist was experienced enough to know when he was beat.

"It were the centurion! 'im as is sat in 'is uniform there, on the far bench!" Maxilus aimed a large fist in the direction of a soldier in the corner of the room, where his light armour sparkled in the dim light. " 'e 'ad 'er by 'er arm as quick as Gaius's my uncle! An' when she saw that the full panoply o' the Roman State were 'angin on her arm she gave up straight; like a lamb! Quite disappointed, I were! 'Ad 'opes of 'er being cut ter ribbons by the centurion, I 'ad! But it weren't to be!"

"And so that concludes your own involvement in the action, my dear sir?"

"Yep! That's about it!" Maxilus nodded sagely at the two officers behind the table; the old Jurist, and the till now silent Aedile. "She's as guilty as a crowd o' Harpies 'avin a banquet on Midsummer Solstice! Mark my words!"

"Thank you—thank you!" The Jurist said hurriedly. "You may return to your seat. The Court calls centurion Flavius Cinna of Legion VII!"

—OOO—

After the usual preliminaries the Jurist fell to questioning the short, but broadly built, officer.

"Just give us an account of your presence at the scene three days ago; and what you saw; and what you did as a result!"

"I was on leave and strolling in the market. I had noticed the defendant and was suspicious of her intentions. I don't know why! Something about her foreign clothes; her weapons; the way she walked! She just seemed dangerous! So I casually kept pace with her through the market, some way behind. I've had experience in this sort of thing; and the crowds helped. So she never realised I was there. Well, she finally stopped at the stall of the complainant and I was able to work my way closer; close enough to hear everything she said."

"And what was her general outlook?"

"She was abusive from the start!" The soldier was clear in his impression and stated the facts simply and concisely. "Right from the first word it was obvious she meant nothing else but to irritate the stall-owner. She was intent on being as abusive and impolite as possible; spoiling for a fight, in fact!"

"But why?" The Jurist seemed truly interested in Gabrielle's motivation.

"I don't know, sire." The centurion shrugged his wide shoulders. "She may just be naturally aggressive! These Amazons! Well, you know!"

"No. I don't know!" The Jurist was surprisingly fair in his outlook. "Try to be clearer. Do you have any idea why she took against this particular artisan and his wares; rather than another?"

"Can't say I have." The man mused over the question. "She certainly had something against him. It was only a few sentences and they were at it hammer and tongs. Made me feel like I was in Hephaestus's workshop!"

"Thank you for the literary reflection. But please keep to the facts. So! She set about the man Corvans' wares for no clear reason?"

"Not that I could see, no." The centurion agreed. "She seemed to be relishing an argument! As if that was the way she was used to doing her buying at markets back in Greece! Anyway, she got to really slanging the poor man. Hot words! Nasty words! I must say, I've been in the Army for 17 years and not heard more than 3 men capable of keeping up with her in the way of description! Almost an education, you might say!"

"Let's go to the events surrounding the production of the sai!" The Juror asked in a weary voice. The details of this case were steeped in gloom and shade from a legal point of view, and he began to feel a little at sea.

"Oh! There I can be quite clear!" The centurion nodded, knowing he was now on sound ground. "She suddenly started screaming like a Banshee—"

"Banshee! What's that?" The Jurist asked sharply.

"A Banshee is a malevolent spirit of the Underworld, sire!" The soldier explained. "Excuse my referring to it. I was stationed in Britannia for some years; where all manner of wild spirits and demons haunt the swamps and bogs of that Gods' damned place!"

"Oh! Really!" The Jurist had now definitely given up all pretence to control of the situation; merely waving a hand for the soldier to continue.

"So she starts screaming; sweeps a lot of the wares on the table to the ground; and then grabs the stall-owner and throws him the full width of his stall. Very strong, she is! He, naturally, dives under his table and comes up with a club! The next instant I see a knife in her hand! Didn't know where she brought it from at the time; too quick! But it seems she keeps two—sai they're called—in her boots! Well! Things were out of control, and it was time to intervene! If I'd waited about 3 breaths there'd have been a Roman citizen's blood all over his shop! I jumped up close and grabbed her arm."

"Rather brave of you, surely?" The Jurist was impelled to say.

"No. Not brave. Foolhardy, probably!" The centurion was dismissive of his actions. "I grabbed her left arm; with the sai held up and shining in the light. I was up against her with my right side, so I had difficulty in grasping my sword in its scabbard on that side! But thankfully she didn't put up any resistance. The moment she saw my uniform she gave in quietly; just muttering a few words."

"What were they?" The Jurist perked up and took a stylus in his hand. "Can you remember what she said?"

"Yes, sire. The words are branded on my memory, for some reason! She looked at me then muttered 'Xena will kill me!' That's all!"

"Ah! Xena! I know this woman. A friend of the defendant; sitting, I believe, beside her at the moment."

The Jurist addressed these words to the Aedile by his side, still silent; though taking a deep interest in the scene being acted out before him.

"And so you took her to the local military barracks; where Lucius Sempronius Basso, and her friend Xena, were kind enough to come and retrieve her an hour later?"

"Yes, sire. That's it!"

"Thank you. You may sit down, centurion. Your words have shed a great deal of light on a dark and disturbing event. The Court calls Gabrielle of Potidaea!"

—OOO—

With a glance at Xena, who smiled back in sympathy, Gabrielle walked out to stand before the table and it's two seated officers. She glanced quickly at the Aedile, but something about his calm steady stare made her turn her eyes to the Jurist instead. He was shuffling through his massed scrolls as if afraid of having lost something important. Finally he grabbed a slightly torn scroll from under a pile of loose sheets of parchment and read it steadily and silently for an embarrassingly long time, before looking up to gaze at Gabrielle.

"You are the defendant, Gabrielle of Potidaea, in the Region of Chalcidice in Greece?"

"Yeah! I am."

"The Polis and Region of Lilybaeum in Sicilia accuses you of public disorder and threatening a Roman citizen! What have you to say to the charges?"

"Hades! It was only an overpriced pan!" Gabrielle shook her head in disgust; unable to contain her feelings, and glared first at the Jurist then the Aedile. "I didn't want to start a War! It was just an argument over prices! Like you hear every day in markets! At least, where I come from!"

"That would be Greece?" The Jurist allowed no hint of criticism to taint his words; but something in his tone got right under the Amazon warrior's skin.

"Yeah! Greece! Where civilisation started!" She snarled at the two men behind the loaded table. "Where the warriors come from! Women and men!"

The Jurist continued to show no sign of perturbation at this angry tirade, but considered the scroll in his hand a moment longer.

"How are you about conversing with ordinary men and women, may I ask?"

"What? I don't understand. What do you mean?"

"Oh, someone who, for instance, was a plain Law-abiding stall-holder." He looked intently at Gabrielle for the first time, and something in the glint in his eye warned her she was walking on dangerous ground. "As it might be, Maxilus Corvans here?"

"What about him?" Gabrielle spoke slowly, after contemplating the bulk of her accuser, now seated on a bench a few rows behind her. She had actually forgotten what the question was; but didn't want to seem stupid in front of everyone.

"Would you regard him as a warrior? A soldier?"

"Of course not!" Gabrielle's tone was scathing. "A soldier! Him! Never in a century! Why, I could take him with one—"

She stopped suddenly; finally realising the trap she had been so expertly led into. But it was far too late to change her words, or her tone.

"Why would you want to take him, with one hand?" The Jurist looked from her sweating face, to the people seated enraptured on the benches, and back to the shuffling defendant. "Why not behave to him as a loyal Roman citizen, just going about his Lawful purposes? I mean, he was not engaged in any Lawless activity, was he? Is that, perhaps what triggered your anger against him? He was engaged in some activity; which you spotted, of a decidedly Lawless nature?"

"Lawless?" Gabrielle was now ruffled and adrift; losing track of the carefully planned story she had prepared overnight, to fox what she had supposed would be a set of dim interrogators. "No! Nothing Lawless! Except—I mean—Lawless!—no—no! I mean—"

"You did grab the complainant by his jerkin and throw him across his stall?"

"I mighta touched him." Gabrielle was cautious now. "He mighta slipped, you know!"

"I believe that several spectators heard words passing between you and your accuser?" The Jurist spoke in soft tones, as if referring to something of no moment whatever. "Words reported as both strongly flavoured and threatening in their nature? Is that so?"

"I mighta said something about his stall!"

"His mother was a Tuscan trollop!" The Jurist quoted slowly from the scroll in front of him. "His father, a turd from the Stygian Depths of Tartarus! I believe those are the words reported by, er—6 witnesses!"

"I did not!" Gabrielle nearly shouted, lying through her teeth; always worth a try! "I never said that!"

"You were going to bend the handle of a nearby pan round his scrawny neck!" He continued from the list before him; clearly beginning to enjoy the proceedings for the first time. "You stated that you would do something intricate, painful, and permanent to his—er—personal parts!—that would make him cry for a month?"

"NO! NO! That's a lie! That ain't true!" Gabrielle now tried the gentle art of prevarication; for what it was worth. "I only said he was looking—looking, mind you!—for trouble like that if he sold cra—I mean, shoddy goods to people! Other people, I mean! Not me! No! Not me! I wouldn'ta bought any of his cra—goods, anyway! I got ideals, ya know!"

"You surprise me!" The Jurist could not restrain his gentle humour. "This is the first time they have shown their shy heads. I mean, they didn't stop you from pulling a dagger on the stall-holder! Or were you merely going to carve a motto in the wood of his stall, telling the passers-by what good quality was to be found there?"

"I was defending myself!" Here she felt on firm ground. "He ducked under his counter and came up with a great club. He was going to beat my brains out! Ain't I supposed to defend myself against that sorta thing?"

"Witnesses, my dear Lady!" He was adamant; again studying his scroll, now unrolling to a respectable length across the table. "9 witnesses this time! Quite a crowd was forming around the scene of battle, apparently; if I may put it that way! He was under his counter because you had just thrown him there! Thinking; perhaps with good reason, that you were about to beat him to a pulp he judiciously armed himself in defence! And you pulled a sai with a 10 inch blade and waved it threateningly in the air!"

"I was scared!" Gabrielle now abandoned all attempt at rational argument.

She paused as the audience broke into laughter at her words. She failed to see Xena with her head buried in her hands, and Lucius staring at the ceiling. The Aedile; though silent, was looking intently at Gabrielle and she found his gaze extremely unsettling. Like anyone who tells lies, she suddenly felt guilty and began to blush in shame. Without saying a word the Aedile made her very nervous indeed.

"Well! I was! He mighta killed me with that club!"

The sustained laughter from the body of the Court-room seemed to suggest she was the only person present who thought this at all likely.

"And then the fun—I mean the nearly tragic scenario, was brought to an end by the brave intervention of the Centurion Flavius Cinna." The Jurist shuffled his scroll into some kind of order again, pursing his lips together. "And that is that! Now all that remains to be decided is what exactly happened in front of Maxilus Corvans' stall. Please remain standing, Gabrielle. The Aedile, Marcus Servans Megallius, will now give his Deposition in the case. His decision will be final! Silence in the Court!"

—OOO—

"A remarkable and surprising case." The voice of the young man; when he stood up to speak, was soft quiet and yet imbued with authority. Authority gained through membership of the Roman aristocracy; and several years experience dealing with every possible variation of misconduct in this modern world. "A case which has interesting overtones!"

He paused to survey the audience; Xena and Lucius sitting in the front row, now staring at him intently; and the still shuffling form of the young short-haired Amazon standing before him.

"I must say this is the first time I have had the honour to find an Amazon in my Court! Almost legendary warriors! And yet, as we see today; all too real! Certainly too real for Maxilus Corvans, and his wares!"

There was a light ripple of subdued giggling through the benches, and the noise of many people craning forward to listen more closely.

"What we are not here today for, is to denigrate the wares of a respectable artisan. Especially an artisan who is also a free citizen of Rome! That is not what this altercation is about at all! No! The key lies somewhat further off. In Greece, to be exact! Gabrielle is an Amazon; but she is primarily Greek. And that is the seat and basis of the emotions shown in this incident."

Again he paused to slowly look around those present in the now hot and humid room, before resting his gaze on Gabrielle herself; who defiantly looked him right in the eye without flinching.

"Gabrielle is a warrior. A warrior with many years experience fighting her enemies in all sorts of conditions and places. She is, by definition, a fighter! And, sadly, she brings this same outlook to bear on her social activities as well! Gabrielle fights in the market-place just as efficiently and remorselessly as she fights on the true field of battle! And that is her downfall! To attack a Roman citizen is a dangerous and stupid thing to do; even for an Amazon warrior!"

His words now had the attention of all present. Lucius was watching him with hand folded under his chin. Xena had her arms crossed, but was staring at Gabrielle's back, and every now and then all round, as if ready to protect her safety.

"After due consideration I find that Gabrielle did indeed attack Maxilus Corvans, to his distress; though perhaps not with vicious intent! For this I fine her 50 sesterces! She did, again, throw his wares to the ground to their detriment! For this I fine her 50 sesterces! She caused a Public nuisance, for which I fine her 50 sesterces! She did draw a dagger; though the fact that Maxilus had first raised a large club, mitigates this to possible defence! She is, therefore, innocent of threatening with an edged weapon! Finally, having been found guilty of offences with a total charge of 150 sesterces, I herewith exile Gabrielle of Potidaea from the Region of Lilybaeum in Sicilia for a period of 1 year, starting at the next Lunar calendar month, in 12 days time. Case closed!"

—OOO—

"Damnation!" Gabrielle was still angry, and meant to express her anger; always her weak point. Xena, holding her arm in a rather tighter grip than necessary, could only raise her eyes to the sky.

They had passed through the milling throng of the Court-room back out into the road by the Forum. Here they found a quiet side-street to take them towards Lucius's villa. And while the three walked Gabrielle relieved her feelings at the recent embarrassing event.

"Damnation!" She repeated again; always comforting when you felt angry. "May every single Demon in Tartarus bite Maxilus's –"

"Do you have to harp on that man!" Xena was angry herself. After all, Gabrielle had caused both her, and their friend Lucius, a great deal of trouble; and she wasn't showing any sign of contrition. "It was all your own fault, after all! I mean! Beating him up in a public market! I think you've gone crazy, myself!"

"Oh, thanks!" Gabrielle tossed her head furiously. "Help me, why don't ya!"

"Perhaps a cup of wine and a quiet rest in your room!" Lucius tried to calm the waters as best he could. After all, he did love these two women deeply. They had a past history with his family which drew him to them uncritically. Though he was being tested to the extreme today, he felt ruefully.

"Nah! Wine would only inflame her passions!" Xena spoke scornfully, using her grip on Gabrielle's arm to drag her forward. "And, believe me, Gabrielle with inflamed passions is something to see!"

"I'd like to inflame that damned young whippersnapper of an Aedile!" Gabrielle was still in vicious mood. "Who does he think he is? Lord of all he surveys!"

"Pretty much, yes!" Xena grunted. "He is the Rule of Law in these parts. He could have had you sent to the dungeons at Rome! Or put aboard a Trireme as a rower! How'd yah like that, Queenie?"

"Don't call me Queenie!" Gabrielle was touchy about her Amazon title being taken in vain by Xena.

"Why not?" Xena laughed unconcernedly. "You call me Princess all the time! Do I cry?"

"I call you Princess 'cause I love you; not to make fun of you!"

"I know that!" Xena stopped in her tracks and released the arm of the slight blonde-haired woman by her side. "I never forget that, ever!"

Gabrielle looked up into the blue eyes of her companion, now sparkling slightly in the bright sunshine as the light apparently dazzled the tall warrior. She put her hand gently on the arm of the leather-clad woman and grinned calmly for the first time that day. Then turned to the man at their side.

"Lucius! You see before you two women! One is a mature good person. A bit know-it-all every now and then, but pretty fair for a partner! The other is just a silly girl who oughta be put in chains, by those who love her, for her own protection! I'll let you decide which is which! By the way, I'm sorry for being such a foolish guest, Lucius!"

Lucius made a deprecatory gesture and smiled happily at the two women as they all passed on along the street.

"Tied up in chains, eh!" Xena couldn't help musing out loud. At least loud enough for Gabrielle to hear. "That's a new way of doing it! But I'm up for it, if you are!"

Gabrielle groaned in disgust at her companion's innuendo then took the opportunity to aim a kick at the back of the tall woman's knee that actually connected, and drew a cry and a grumpy retort from the black-haired warrior.

"And when you're tied in those chains I'll throw the key away! That'll get yah!"

Gabrielle shook her head in anguish and walked on, with her arm linked tightly in Xena's.

**The End**

—OOO—


End file.
